A strange thing happened this evening. Grace.
I've been living here in this northern California apartment since September '08 - thanks Randy and family - and only today did I finally muster the wits and strength to do some extensive cleanup around this place - wow, the carpet is beige. Afterward, I planned on rewarding myself with a chicken, vegetable and pasta dinner. I thought about little else all day.
Now, I know it's not the cooking that was different, although it was seasoned nicely; the few things I prepared on the stove top or in the microwave would pass for dinner.
While preparing the last part of the meal - a sweet potato with brown sugar and cinnamon - I looked through the apartment to the back closet - not that I had to look that far - the apartment's only about twenty feet deep.
The pale yellow hall light cast its usual dim pall, but there was something different. I'm not sure if it was the way it lit the egg cream-colored walls or the teal and sea-blue towels hanging over the doors but for the first time since I moved in here it felt like an apartment. Finally, it felt alive.
I pray it's me coming to life again.
Do you know what I mean? Have you felt that feeling?
I'm certain it's me changing my mindset through the last few months; my paradigm shifting. Me believing again.
So, I thought, 'the adage is true.' When you chance the way you look at things, the things you look at change the way they look.
Sounds a bit Taoist.
You know, 'The act of looking at something changes the thing you are looking at.' Or something like that.
In any event, it's still very cool.
This far by Grace.
