Get A Lfe

I had one of those moments I always believed this area was capable of, but never truly believed would ever happen.

Here's the scenario...
I was leaving my current, favorite store in the whole-wide-world, Costo, laughing and thoroughly enjoying a cool and needed, spiritual battery-charging phone conversation, with a NYC friend when I noticed a Harley biker-vest (look)-wearing, wallet-on-a-chain totin,' poop-kicking boots wearing, blue jean clad, black leather union army cap topped, 'salt-n-peppa' mutton chopped beard-havin'-man looking intently and tracking in my direction; his eyes hidden behind mirrored lenses.

I stopped and looked past me in the direction he was looking to see what he was looking at. Only to realize he may have been looking at me. Yeah, I knew. My heightened, New York Ninja senses are mostly wasted out here.
Then I remembered I had carelessly passed gas ten yards ago thinking I was downwind. Could the unthinkable have happened. Had a top hunter in the region sniffed me out? Was I in for a severe talking to? I thought to myself, 'don't be silly...'
Then I thought I had made some fashion faux pas by wearing a tie out back in the 'country' which could be as fatal as wearing red in Crip territory.

Then I thought that was silly too. This, after all, is forward-thinking Sacramento, the capitol of one of the great states in the union. I looked at myself in a vehicle I passed. I was moderately dressed - for NYC - collared blue shirt, tie, suit pants, nice square toed shoes - strolling to my car which was about 20-10 yards away and closing.

I looked at him again and his gaze seemed a bit more like a glare. Between the coverage of his over-sized Tom Cruise-esque aviator sunglasses, his small head and ample hair covering his skull and jowls it was near impossible to really tell if he was a very tanned white man or a light-skinned Black man. But as Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as stupid does..." No matter the race or gender.

So, inquisitively, I asked him, "What is it? What did I miss?

He robustly replied, "I'm just waiting to see if you are going to get in your car and drive while you are talking on your phone..."

Really...

I can't make this sort of thing up.

"This is a hands-free state you know," he said again. As if his first comment wasn't stupid enough. Stealthily slipping through us was a Ford super duty truck, the kind with four wheels in the rear. It's occupant brazenly holding a cell to his ear and enjoying his conversation thoroughly.

I invited the gentleman to come to my church to which he replied something to the effect that only God could love me. I receive that! So, I invited him again. He turned and got into his truck.

I told my friend what had just happened. They heard the entire exchange.
And they said, "You know what?"
"Maybe you should have told him he was stupid. There are so many people walking around that just don't know they are. It's important that you tell them."

I wasn't really sure what to make of it and I certainly was not about to tell someone that stu-pod, stu-poid, whatever, that indeed they were. I'm sure that's how many a gun fight began back in the day... I can just see it.

Some folks really need to get a life.

New Califormia Driver License and ID Cards Released

“See it, Touch it, Trust it”

California DMV goes high-tech

By Gregory S. Cleghorne

Freelance Writer

California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and the California Highway Patrol (CHP) rolled out their newly designed and more secure driver license and identification cards today (Wednesday, Oct. 6) at the DMV field office in South Sacramento in an ongoing effort to improve driver license and ID card security.

The DMV’s supercharged cards are accompanied by the department’s new mantra, “See it, Touch it, Trust it,” referring to the license’ new look, feel and difficulty to counterfeit.

“The new security features, coupled with advanced technology, make California driver licenses and ID cards some of the most secure identification documents in the country,” said George Valverde, DMV Director. “We are confident they will be well-received by residents, business and law enforcement officials.”

Sacramento resident, Nicole Nesbitt, was understandably concerned about any monetary changes involved. “As long as there’s no additional cost, it’s cool,” she said.

One of the changes is the vertical format for the under 21 ID card, but the rest of the information remains the same. The high-tech models have more than just a new paint job. When the cards are held to a light, the image of a bear appears in a star-like formation and when held under ultraviolet light, embedded information is revealed. When touched, the cardholder’s raised signature and identifying numbers can be felt.

Annually, the DMV issues about 8.25 million driver licenses and ID cards to Californians and since the cards are designated as the state’s primary identification document, law enforcement officials and the DMV say it’s critical that it’s secure and accurate.

“We make millions of stops every year,” CHP Officer Mike Bradley said. “This will set the counterfeiters back about seven to 10 years.”

The cards, which have not changed since 2001, are the product of a joint task force including the CHP, DMV, Department of Alcohol and Beverage Control (ABC) and The Department of Homeland Security.

Matt Paulin, DMV Chief Deputy Director, summed up the changes with a touch of nostalgia, “The days of altering California licenses with a pen or a marker are over.”

Cardholders are not required to get new cards until the old ones expire unless they want one. Valverde said, “When it comes time to renew your card, DMV has many services that are offered online to help customers avoid going into to the field offices.”

# # #

PHOTOS:

1501 - Matt Paulin, DMV Chief Deputy Director addresses the media with Steve Lerwill, CHP Division Chief, right and Jott Condie, far right, Executive Director, California Restaurant Association at the DMV South Sacramento field office.

1516 – Matt Paulin, DMV Chief Deputy Director explains the changes to the California driver license and ID cards.

1527 – CHP Officers Mike Bradley, left, and Adrian Quintero examine new license and ID cards

1536 – CHP Officer Jeanie Hoatson gives a news cameraman a close look at the new license and ID card.

1544 – Long line curls around DMV building in South Sacramento the day the new license and ID card are released.

1547 – Driver license replica.

1548 – Under 21 ID card is now vertical.

What a difference a few hundred days make...

I saw my son for the fist time this year.
It had been going on ten months.
I was about to induce labor had I not and it would not have been pretty.
But as usual, God is so very good...

This is what happens when a real 'mother' decides to make life difficult for a man who is trying to see his only child and a son to boot.

What makes women or men do that sort of thing.
What makes men or women turn their backs on their children and not look back?
I'm glad I am not one of those men, but now I can understand why some do.

If you have a heart to care, the pain is tremendous.
Like Everest high and cold at times and marathon exhaustion at others; volcanic hot in some places and as difficult to navigate as the twists and turns of insanity .
But then there's Faith.
I don't know why it works, but it does.
It's the Novocaine to a root canal and a parent's kiss on a child's scraped knee...
Sometimes, as a passionate person - for people and causes - it's difficult to let go of things I feel deeply for; like my son.
But I made up my mind a long time ago, no matter what it took and no matter what challenges I was to face, as long as I lived I was not going to leave my son.
Sure, they say 'suicide is painless' and the thought visited from time to time but...
If I had taken that shortwalk, today would have never come for me...
For my son...

Tears may come at night but Joy comes in the morning...
Thanks Mom for preparing me for days like the ones I have been through...
And Thank You for NOT telling me there would be days like the ones I experienced...

The sun kept coming up, or rather, the Earth kept turning when I thought all had come to an end. I kept living... The tears fell, I slept and I learned to forget.
Now I need to learn to forgive.
Others and myself...
God is so good.

So, after many, many low days and thousands of miles - sometimes running, sometimes just traveling, now being where I need to be - the day came.
A Saturday.

And then, walking through a simple, white door there he was again.
A tall, young man of 12 years of age. His hair, dark and thickly curled like wool, rested on his head like a warm blanket. The sight of those curls led me to memories of my elder brother Merrill's hair lying just above a furrowed brow and thick glasses, his squinting eyes darting from subject to the next brush stroke as an oil-soaked, horse-hair brush he held glided across a hand-stretched canvas. His work, portraits, still life, city scape, imagination creation or landscape left me awestruck. He was the kind of illustrator who could draw a figure with five lines better than I could with a thousand and five.
His work, indelibly etched in my memory, faded as I looked again on my son's handsome face; a smirky smile creeping across his face and I think mine too.

Our eyes met awkwardly but like old friends.
He seemed unsure to me. His step a little tentative, his greeting subdued.
Outwardly, I was reserved and cool, but inside, it was times square at New Years.
His one-word answers bothered me a bit, it was as if he had an internal harness he hadn't quite learned how to release, but I'm sure he'll tame that lion too. I'll be glad to help.

We sat, talked and played video games on my laptop for what seemed a light and timeless forever like at a wedding reception or a vacation's walk on a perfect, far-away beach.
And after a snack of sandwich cookies, a game of chess.
He told me not to let him win when I moved a piece he knew I shouldn't have.
After a while, his responses were two words, then three then more...
It just got better and better.

But as time goes by, the reunion ended too quickly.
As we prepared to depart I asked him if I could touch his head... His hair...
Like a dad does to his son.

He said yes and I did. He seemed to welcome it.
There's no gauge to tell how much I missed it, missed him...
I asked him for a hug and he said yes.
But before I held him again after so long, I asked him if I could pick him up
and again, he said yes...
That meant a lot.
I picked him up and felt like I was picking myself up.
I closed my eyes and was both there in the moment, in the room ...
And not.

I watched as he headed for that white door again.
I so didn't want him to leave without me.
The wait until next time is always pregnant.
I wasn't sure what he felt.
Did he miss me?
Was this just obligatory?
Had HE moved on?
Had he turned his back on me?

I was about to turn and sit and fade into countless thoughts and questions and uncertainty.
Then, as he made the last turn out of the room, the last turn I could see him and he me,
he turned, looked at me with a fondness and waved good bye.
Not a full cruise ship good bye like I may not ever see you again, but more like a, 'see ya later' kind of wave...

When he was a tiny thing, we had a level of spoken and unspoken communication that only people with close relationships can understand.
At that moment, I felt it was still there between he and I.
And it felt good. I hope for him too.
It was the indescribable feeling I was missing all these long miles, these long hours and long, long years.

While it was not the best time we spent together, it was the most wonderful time for me.
But then again, when you're starving a tea biscuit tastes like a gourmet meal.
This was a really good tea biscuit though.

The best times we had were way back when he was an infant, a toddler, a first grader...
At least now he can remember our time together.
I'm looking forward to getting to know him all over again.
Having new adventures and making new memories.
I look forward to the first time we go scuba diving together.
Or sailing or cycling.
These last few days, I have actually been looking forward instead of back.
I have been thinking about life instead of death.
I have been thinking of love instead of hate and indifference.
...Of being clean instead of dirty.

There's s much more to say, but it will have to suffice when I say I had an unusual visitor come and stay with me for the rest of the day and several days still afterward.
A visitor I hadn't seen nor felt nor held in a very long time.
The visitor was a smile...

Something I hadn't done in quite some time.
And for a while, a peace...
One that passed my ability to understand it...

Now, parts of me are trying to tell me it was a dream, that it never happened.
But it did.
And if I can hold on, it will happen again... And again... And again...

I want that peace to stay with me.
I want to be with my son.

Shalom