Get A Lfe

I had one of those moments I always believed this area was capable of, but never truly believed would ever happen.

Here's the scenario...
I was leaving my current, favorite store in the whole-wide-world, Costo, laughing and thoroughly enjoying a cool and needed, spiritual battery-charging phone conversation, with a NYC friend when I noticed a Harley biker-vest (look)-wearing, wallet-on-a-chain totin,' poop-kicking boots wearing, blue jean clad, black leather union army cap topped, 'salt-n-peppa' mutton chopped beard-havin'-man looking intently and tracking in my direction; his eyes hidden behind mirrored lenses.

I stopped and looked past me in the direction he was looking to see what he was looking at. Only to realize he may have been looking at me. Yeah, I knew. My heightened, New York Ninja senses are mostly wasted out here.
Then I remembered I had carelessly passed gas ten yards ago thinking I was downwind. Could the unthinkable have happened. Had a top hunter in the region sniffed me out? Was I in for a severe talking to? I thought to myself, 'don't be silly...'
Then I thought I had made some fashion faux pas by wearing a tie out back in the 'country' which could be as fatal as wearing red in Crip territory.

Then I thought that was silly too. This, after all, is forward-thinking Sacramento, the capitol of one of the great states in the union. I looked at myself in a vehicle I passed. I was moderately dressed - for NYC - collared blue shirt, tie, suit pants, nice square toed shoes - strolling to my car which was about 20-10 yards away and closing.

I looked at him again and his gaze seemed a bit more like a glare. Between the coverage of his over-sized Tom Cruise-esque aviator sunglasses, his small head and ample hair covering his skull and jowls it was near impossible to really tell if he was a very tanned white man or a light-skinned Black man. But as Forrest Gump said, "Stupid is as stupid does..." No matter the race or gender.

So, inquisitively, I asked him, "What is it? What did I miss?

He robustly replied, "I'm just waiting to see if you are going to get in your car and drive while you are talking on your phone..."

Really...

I can't make this sort of thing up.

"This is a hands-free state you know," he said again. As if his first comment wasn't stupid enough. Stealthily slipping through us was a Ford super duty truck, the kind with four wheels in the rear. It's occupant brazenly holding a cell to his ear and enjoying his conversation thoroughly.

I invited the gentleman to come to my church to which he replied something to the effect that only God could love me. I receive that! So, I invited him again. He turned and got into his truck.

I told my friend what had just happened. They heard the entire exchange.
And they said, "You know what?"
"Maybe you should have told him he was stupid. There are so many people walking around that just don't know they are. It's important that you tell them."

I wasn't really sure what to make of it and I certainly was not about to tell someone that stu-pod, stu-poid, whatever, that indeed they were. I'm sure that's how many a gun fight began back in the day... I can just see it.

Some folks really need to get a life.