Golden State? How About Fool's Gold

Last week, I Wandered around my new neighborhood. On my journey, I just so happened to meet a neighbor I had met shortly after I relocated; so we talked. Soon after, she excused herself, but left me with her twenty-something son. He and I talked and what he said was eye-opening about one human condition in the State of California.

I asked him the same question I always ask people bold enough to say they're native - not transplanted - Californians. No, not displaced Native Americans before colonial incursions, or the Spanish (Mexican) who lived here as far north as San Francisco.
Remember 54-40 or fight?

The question, I have to ask is, "Why don't people talk to each other here?"

His answer?
He told me that people have done each other wrong for so long that there is little if any trust left for one another. So, I asked him, '...Done wrong, like...?'

And he replied, stating reasons ranging from betrayal to infidelity, to theft, to failing to repay loans, to hurtful gossip, to meddling, to informing on one another including family, friends, neighbors and law enforcement . He said people are not good to their word out here (west), so folks just keep to themselves.
Something that I felt, but even Dr. Phil would say that can't be healthy.
Not to mention painfully boring! Who has the time to be that disconnected? Who has the time to be so low down as to play on good people like that?

We are social animals. So, by definition, folks here - if I may come to my own conclusions - are socially immature, living in physically mature bodies.

I find people here so wrapped around their anger from a slight from their social circle from yesterday or so long ago, that now I can only call it a childish anger.
What's dangerous about it, is that they are acting out through an adult body. But, the behavior is childish.
And it's sad. Sad that there is little opportunity for social interaction or cross cultural interaction in this car-reliant part of the country.

Imagine the rush to go west.
Who went?
Those who had? Not likely.
The Wanderer, yes, but mostly those who had nothing, who were relatively uneducated and of course, the ministry.
Dangerous combination.
Not to mention high powered weapons and way too much alcohol. I think that social structure still exists here in some real ways.

Zip back to today.

Think of it; millions get up, get in their cars, go to 'work,' have lunch, get in their cars, go home and wait for tomorrow.
When do they meet people? Nobody walks out here.
When do they meet people outside their communities when they barely meet people from their own? So many don't even know who their neighbors are.

And what about interaction with people from other races? What about those who have a social prejudice already? When and where will they have a positive interaction with people from other races?

Interaction dispels stereotypes (most times), but if all you see of another race is from passing them in your air conditioned (or not) car, or at the mall, when will you know that that young man with his pants sagging a bit has a degree and value? That he goes to church and works with youth ministries? Or that he loves and cares for his mother?

It also occurred to me why gangs are so prevalent here and I believe it's because of the lack of healthy communities, trusty and healthy, social interaction. Things I've seen in so many other communities and countries.

I want to say there was a social breakdown going on out here, but I'm not sure it ever was "fixed" or working well. What with cow-punchers, transient people and families, gunslingers, rustlers, hustlers, snake oil salesmen, bushwhackers, trade from the east, Mexicans, Asians, Pacific Islanders, businessmen, shysters and all sorts of desperadoes...

The need to be social is very strong in our nature but so difficult to establish and maintain here in Cali that people make their own social organization, even if it is potentially unhealthy.
But I've found in conversations with folks, it is a secondary family (sometimes primary) that provides a place where codes of conduct require some honesty and social loyalties - often with swift consequences for breaking those codes - things neighborhoods no longer - if ever - supply.

Folks here need therapy; me included.
Something that will help their inner child go back inside, grow up and come out later. Much later.
I could visualize folks walking around with 'Back in a Year' signs draped over them.

I think of a popular west coast rapper's lyric stating, "I've got hoes in different area codes..." I just have to wonder if those women think they are his only 'woman?' And so, one more facet of distrust kicks in.
No one trusts here. Because, often times, when folks do, the person is lying. There are many disappointed, jaded and just plain angry people here. Repercussions from socially dishonest behavior is slow.
Honesty is a rare commodity.

Kind of like Gold.