The Art Of Non-Verbal Communication

I was parked under a shade tree in Los Angeles recently waiting for a store to open. It was pretty hot already, even before noon. I got out and stood by the car to enjoy a light breeze and to stretch my legs. A man walked toward me and stared at my car oddly and constantly as he passed by me without taking his eyes off my car, not once did he look at me or say a word. He got into a van parked next to my car, which, now that I looked, was partially blocking him in.

I guess he wanted me to move my car. You think?
Normally, just to be a New York transplant ass, I'd left the car there until he said something. Hey you jerk! Good morning! Something.

Then, I thought, maybe he's mute. Maybe he doesn't speak English. Or, maybe, he's just an ass.
For some reason, I didn't even bother, I moved my car slightly and returned to the comfort of the shade.

People here also seem to have depth perception difficulty. I don't remember that being a problem in New York, but I've been a way for a while. You'd think I was immune, but it kind of bothers me.

I can't tell you how many times that people, men, women and children, have just bumped into me for no apparent reason. There was plenty of room on the walkways or in the Panorama Mall, they just felt it necessary to walk on the part of earth I was walking on. Maybe I'm magnetic, I thought. It could happen. People bump into me a lot here in Los Angeles. Maybe they're interdimensional creatures who forgot that only one mass can occupy the same space in time without colliding.
I'm not even going to try to figure that one out.

Just last month, a limo driver, someone you'd think would be courteous on the road, wouldn't let me merge into a left lane on Van Nuys Blvd. I signaled in enough time, but he actually sped up to prevent my merge. That was rude, I thought.
Maybe he lost a bundle on the Lakers... A possibility, but oh well. He'll get no love from me there.

So, I turned the corner with him, signaled and turned in front of him. Okay, maybe it was a little closer than I normally would have, but I did it anyway.
He honked repeatedly, and as I looked through my side view mirror, he removed his seatbelt, in exaggerated agitation; non too happy. Oh, well.

So, I went about my way. But, to my surprise, he started following me.
I turned, he turned. I slowed, he tried to get along side me. I turned, he turned.
Wow, I thought; I'm in a potential road rage situation. Hmmm. What should I do? Stop and confront him? Man up?

Then, I realized, this guy's not too stable; he's trying to chase me in a 60-foot long Benz limo. I drove a limo in NYC; they don't corner worth a damn. I also drove a NYC yellow cab. He didn't stand a chance.

So, for the next 10 minutes I kept making right hand turns. I know he was serious about trying to catch up to me, but it was comical watching him in my rear mirror trying to navigate those turns with 50 feet of car behind him. I slowed down to savor his millipede-like turns, but sped up to keep my distance. I definitely didn't want him to catch up with me; he's crazy!

After every right turn, he got farther and father behind me.
The fun wore off after a few turns - if not for the money, I don't know how the NASCAR drivers do it. When the limo faded from sight, I made a left.
Never to see him again.

If I hadn't been here long enough to see similar behavior in others, I would have thought all it a bit odd, but no, it seems to be more the norm round these here parts.

Some times non-verbal communication can be just as ignorant as spoken.
And some thing's just ain't worth reciprocating.