Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

The 1978 film spoof of 'B' movies was just that; a spoof.

But while this current red vegetable attack hasn't been a killer, thank God, it has left a quite a few Americans with a bad taste in their mouths and queezy feeling in their stomachs. It's made folks sick or caused them to be hospitalized due to Salmonella poisoning attributed to a nasty bacteria on one of our favorite, staple veggies.
I wonder if V8 has felt the pinch.

We eat tomatoes, but in the movie, the tomatoes ate humans and sent many others into frenzied panic. It could happen. They called out the Army and the National Guard, law enforcement and government agents.

And the real mystery is where did that much cow poop come from and how did manure get on all those tomatoes? Could it be Al Quida out of 'New' Jersey cows?
Hmmmm... Where's Monk when you need him? If he weren't so phobic about dirt, I'd bet he could get to the, ahem, bottom of this.
But, today, except for a less than one percent stricken ill nationwide, this 'attack' doesn't seem to bother us much. Oh, well. No tomatoes? Just throw in a little more red peppers. Who'll know?

Ah, but this is the southwest.
The diet here, rife with the ever popular, truly American (?) chipotle, avocado dips, tacos and fajitas, is in crisis. Will Californians starve? Will Californians lose their laid back cool? Will the lack of tomatoes alter the course of Californian history? Probably not. This is also the land of "whatever..."

Merchants are taking this seriously, possibly to avoid lawsuits, another Californian pass time, fast food restaurants have all but chopped tomatoes from their menus and supermarkets are not restocking.

I began to give this crisis serious thought.
Hmmm...

What's a taco without diced tomatoes? A Tac? An aco?
Good lord, first no tomatoes and now the state of California in the midst of a statewide drought? I can just see the scientist in a movie made today, figuring that this is the perfect tomato bane. Just think, deprive them of water and those killer tomatoes will wither. As if.

Instead of calling out the militia, maybe they should have thought of a drought. Or just maybe a good pinch.