MS Word: U Better Know How To Spell

A most unusual thing happened today.
I was writing a paper in Microsoft Word and I got that red squiggly line underneath a word, denoting it was misspelled or grammatically incorrect; you know the one.
As a journalist, I'd like to think of myself as a pretty good speller so the squiggly line concerned me a bit. But I also know that sometimes my dyslexia transfers from my brain through my fingers. So, I stopped and right clicked to check it.

To my astonishment, surprise, and then chagrin, the options the computer was offering me was as jarring as a waiter at a Chinese restaurant offering me a chick pea and feta cheese falafel.

Okay, I said to myself, it's a glitch, but as I read down the list this time and several times afterward, I noticed the computer's offerings went from bad to worse. (In an electronic hand basket, I suppose.)

Even when I type in "MicroSoft," (yes, I know that's not how to spell it - it was just a test) one of the offerings is, "Micros oft." I guess that's a legit offering, but, jeez, doesn't the program know who its daddy is?
It reminded me of trying to order dinner in Tel Aviv and I spoke no Hebrew and the waiter spoke no English. I settled for a salad.

I am one of those who were burned slightly by MS Vista's inability to work with certain programs and just acting the fool with others - then this. So, I'm back to XP and wishing for a Mac Christmas.

If making billions makes you a bit aloof, and alarms don't sound off like a fire company's when your programs begin to act like crap, I want to be that kind of out of touch.
But, please I'd like the billions first.
I know, wouldn't we all...

Computers are amazing in all the things they perform on a daily basis and griping over one little quirk doesn't seem to stack up, but as we say in the news business, "All news is local." So, when my computer can't spell check an angry passage (or screenplay) written in ALL CAPS, or when it starts offering me mis-spellings when I'm on deadline, I get a little concerned and a lot ticked off.

What got to me most about this alphabetical transgression is that the program is being used by lots of folks who rely on their computer for some sense of literacy. I wonder if there's a 'no computer left behind' clause in the warranty?
And, jeez, there's no built in dictionary on these things these days. Or if there is, it seems like it ain't using English as a first language.
I began to think that it might be a good time to re-invest in a portable, old-fashioned, thumb-flipping Webster's to put in my computer bag. But, just like the computer, if you don't know, it ain't tellin'.

Then again, I thought I'd be better off just knowing how to spell.